Monday, June 02, 2008

Not Dead…Just Resting

It occurs to me that daily posts about my ongoing road trip followed by a few days of silence might seem rather ominous. So, I’m here to say that the persistent and continually reoccurring rumors concerning the Gren’s demise are unfounded. I’m doing just fine, thank you very much.

You might be wondering, therefore, what happened to my systematic blogging across the country? Well, good news, Oklahoma didn’t need me (as discussed) and Kansas didn’t trust me. And once I got over the insult…I was actually very glad of this mistrust.

See, the stores from which I was gathering paperwork and hardware are cash intensive places; bulletproof glass with double-door mantraps. In Arizona and New Mexico, they checked my ID and then buzzed me back so that I could wade through the boxes and equipment on my own, picking and choosing what to bring, what to leave. In Tucson they even offered to feed me lunch. It was a very comfortable relationship I had at the beginning. Then, I reached Kansas. I called ahead to let the District Manager know that I was on my way. She complained that I was arriving on a Friday (their busiest day) and wanted to know why I had scheduled it so poorly. I calmly explained that I’d been going all week and that someone had to be Friday, sorry it was her. She continued, “My staff just won’t have the time to move everything into the mantraps for you.”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” I assured her. “Your corporate office has ok’d me to gather the stuff myself.”

“Sorry, that’s against policy.”

“What? I mean…I talked with your CEO on the phone while digging through a back office in Albuquerque. I assure you they’re ok with this.”

“We’ll see,” was her uncommitted answer.

When I arrived at the first Kansas store, I was met with a stern looking teller glaring at me through the glass who let me know that everything I would need was loaded in the man-trap. I grumbled immaturely, loaded my truck and drove away to the next store with a sour expression on my face. It was only at this point that I noticed that instead of my usual one hour per store, I had got in and out of that location in under 15 minutes. And this trend continued through all 6 of the Sunflower State locations. I’d just shaved 4.5 hours off my schedule. I started calculating and realized that I was actually going to make it home on Friday night. In less than 24 hours time I had gone from two days behind schedule to a full day ahead of schedule. Huzzah!!

I surprised my wife at home and was able to give my Little Lutine a long overdue hug before putting her down for the night. I had planned to post a little something about arriving home…but instead collapsed into my own bed. I had then planned on alerting you guys to the finale of the trip on Saturday and Sunday but…well…I was running about with family, basking in the glorious return of normalcy. I didn’t step foot near a computer. Sorry.

And so now I am here, fabulously behind schedule for various work projects due to my weeklong absence…but refusing to take steps to get caught back up until I let everyone know one important fact: the Gren Lives.

6 comments:

Simon said...

If the subject matter were more exciting this could totally be made into a movie, you know. Not the subject itself, mind you (being you); that's plenty exciting enough. Just the filler of driving around the place and placing boxes into a U-Haul. That bit.

I mean, you start with good intentions and a cool map with a stick guy on it, have this naive idea that everything's going to go according to plan, start out OK (even though we the viewing audience KNOW that something's going to throw a sever hiccup into things), and then, finally... BAM! Your joyful reunion with the loving family is St. Louis is tragically delayed by forces outside your control, over which you writhe angstily and gnash your teeth in impotent rage.

But then! Salvation in the form least expected. The surly and recalcitrant nature of those too suspicious to trust you to do the job you'd already been approved to do ends up having them do the bulk of the work FOR you, leaving you not only to catch up on previously lost time, but to gain even more over what had been given up as beyond reach.

Throw in a helper, an arch-nemesis and an older teacher figure and you have the stereotypical Hero's Journey there, man! But, like I said, too bad the subject matter of picking up boxes of useless paper and shoveling them into a truck couldn't be more exciting. It really could have been something.

Glad you're back. Though not nearly as glad as are Moonshot and Little Lutine, I bet.

(PS -- Simmering Fervor... WTF?)

Moksha Gren said...

Si - Come on, if they can make a movie about a trip to White Castle or a video game about making hamburgers, then surely my box-gettin' has Hollywood potential. I mean...did I fail to mention the old Apache I picked up hitchhiking outside fo Alburquerque who taught me how to survive the long drive by communicating with quirky spirit animals? They were sincere friends, but were constantly getting me into trouble with their antics. But I don't know what I would have done without them when that evil trucker started trying to pick up my boxes before I could get to them. That would have been a disaster, let me tell ya.

Hmmm, in retrospect, I should have taken pictures of some of this stuff instead of all those boring road shots ;)

Anonymous said...

Glad you're not dead. :)

émilie b said...

Ditto hokey.
lol!

Mark said...

Glad you're alive and that you and your ladies were reunited (and it feels so good).

I like the movie ideas you and Simon had. I'm totally the videographer if that ever goes into production. Or at least the grip.

I'm also glad that you didn't see Rutger Hauer (either from The Hitcher or Blind Fury).

Anonymous said...

I don't think working on your house all day is just resting:) If it is, you can Just Rest at our house when you are done resting at your house!