Monday, March 26, 2007

Two Types of Parents / Greener Pastures

It’s just a shame that the more interesting stuff you have going on in any given time frame…the more difficult it is to find the time to sit down and write about it.

Two Types of Parents

It was about a month and a half ago that the Parents as Teachers lady sat on our living room floor and said, “There are two types of parents. The first group moves all dangerous items out of the baby’s living space. The second group leaves the items there and teaches the baby not to touch them.”

Now I was sitting there, cross-legged with my daughter on my lap thinking, “Well, I’m on the leave it there bus, myself.” I mean…cover the electrical outlets, block the stairs, keep them from killing themselves. But, I’m not going to live in a padded house to keep Norah from conking her head now and again. Besides, said I to myself, a kid has to learn how to navigate the real world. Silly paranoid parents, I thought.

Well, it’s been a month and a half and we are now actually living with a mobile child. The thought experiment has become a scuttling reality and our living room is a very different place. Ya see, I’ll stand by my previous opinion in theory….but I failed to factor in the sheer annoyance that can be generated by a child so clearly determined to injure herself and wreck our home.

After countless floor shuffling sessions, our cd rack has been moved behind the large, unmovable potted plant. It’s a horribly inconvenient place for them…but then, that’s the point, I guess. The potted plant itself has suffered many crushed leaves and would probably have been moved itself if it weren’t for its significant roll as cd and lethal cord blocker. Thanks for your valiant sacrifices, Unmovable Potted Plant. We appreciate it.

The couches that once angled into the living room to encourage conversation have been pushed flush against the wall to discourage electrocution. HGTV would not approve of the layout, but Norah cares naught for feng shui and was far too interested in the power chords and the heavy block of marble on spindly, wobbly legs that once sat behind our couch.

The grate to the fireplace has been transplanted to a safrer home, replaced by a tension pet gate. Not only does it keep her from a) pulling the grate down on her head and b) eating the fake coals….it’s also the height of interior design. Very industrial.

However, we’ve not moved completely into the "remove everything" camp. I think we’ve found a comfortable middle ground in which Norah can maintain a healthy level of bruised-but-not-broken.

For instance, for several days after she learned to pull herself up, Norah seemed determined to head-butt her way through our coffee table. Due to time constraints and an underlying faith in my child’s learning curve, I never found time to make it to Lowes to purchase my baby-proofing kit of water pipe insulation tubes and zip-ties. And I’d like to report that by the time I went to Lowes this weekend…she no longer needed it. She hasn’t hit her head on that thing in about a week. Now…when she learns running, we may need to go back to Plan A.

The only other problem we’re facing now as we chase our little girl from room to room is dog toys. Arlo has long understood the difference between his toys and Norah’s toys. If one of his toys happened to roll up against one of hers, he would ever so slowly and ever so gently retrieve it, careful to let you know at every step that he had no intention of touching the baby toy. Norah, on the other hand, has no such etiquette. Any toy her furry brother is playing with instantly becomes to coolest plaything in the house. And sadly, the dog will drop the toy and let her have it before moping away to bemoan his lot in life. “You’re faster than her,” we explain to him. “Just keep away from her. You don’t have to share.” But alas…he is a martyr at heart and only too willing to submit to the cruel injustice of it all. We keep telling Norah, “Don’t touch.” But, she just finds it an interesting prelude to her touching something.

So, of the two types of parents…we’re saddling the fence between the two these days. We let her roam and explore and aren’t too afraid of some bumps and bruises along the way. But I’ll admit that we had underestimated the destructive force of an 8-month-old.


Greener Pastures

It’s official…Spring is here. No, I’m not talking about the calendar. I’m talking about the fact that I had to mow our yard and finally rake all those half-decayed leaves that I’d been avoiding since Fall. The flowers are blooming, green things are sprouting everywhere and the fans have been pulled up from the basement. The windows are open which means the midnight practice session of the band across the street now seem much louder. But it also means a wonderful breeze across the bed and bird song to wake to. It’s very difficult to get out of bed these days. Just…too…comfy.

Instead of hiding upstairs during Moonshot’s piano lesions, I’ve been taking walks with Norah and Arlo on Monday and Wednesday nights. I have to remember not to leave my lunch cooler on the sun room floor lest the ants find it. And Norah has been tickled to be allowed to scurry about the house in just a diaper.

We’re all big fans of spring at Casa de Gren. Hope you're enjoying it whereever you are.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I *really* thought I'd be the kind of parent to let my child learn from his mistakes, but the more we're getting into the exploration part, the more I find that baby-proofing is, well... less work than the alternative.

("Xavier, NO. [...] NO, Xavier! NO. Leave that cupboard alone, you'll crush your fingers. NO... NO." *child fingers getting squished* *mom shudders* *child wails* *sigh* - We installed a cabinet blocker now, and although he can still crush his fingers, he lost interest in the cupboard he couldn't look into.)

I'm still hovering behind him when he's sitting. I know I should let him fall down - he'd learn after a couple times - but the thought of his head smashing the laminate flooring... Just imagining the sound makes me cringe. And now he'll be starting to stand up. Are we supposed to just let them fall down? I think it will take a bit more courage than I can manage.

So good luck with Norah. Heh.

As for spring, I love the part you guys have gotten to, where you can open windows, and hear morning birds. Not quite there yet around here (Québec, CAN), but the temperature is rising and spring rain is starting, interspersed with nice sunny days, all of which designed to melt the snow. After that the streets will need a good cleaning, and we'll be good to go.

Anonymous said...

Here in Minnesota, we hit 80 degrees today. Pretty funny to have shorts and 80 degrees with little patches of snow still on the ground! I feel as though I'm in the mountains.

Anonymous said...

Ahh, baby proofing... Being almost 2 (next month), Sarah has slowly shown us our weeknesses in the home. From uncovered electrical sockets to a lamp on her dresser whose cord wasn't tucketed as tightly behind as I once thought, she manages to find all the good spots. When she was about 8 or 9 months old she crawled right off of a step that we have in our kitchen. It goes down just the one step to a landing that has our basement and garage doors. I would like to say that we weren't close enough to stop her... we were (sadly enough). We just weren't paying attention and she just crawled right off of it! Her tears and howling still echo guilt in my mind to this day.

As for spring it's my absolute favorite season. I love the magnolia trees blooming along with the bradford pears, the tulips, hycithia (sp?) and my favorite... our Japanese Pear trees in our front yard that have just popped open on Sunday. We leave for vacation tomorrow and I like to think that they bloomed just for me. Because even if I had a wonderful vacation, I would have been sad to get back and have missed them bloom this year.

Moksha Gren said...

Emilie - From the videos, your floor does look a bit more unforgiving than ours. Norah has learned to tuck her head when falling backward onto our rugs. I'm not sure I'd have had the stomach for that learning process on uncovered hard floors.

But in general...Norah has had a few bruises already. And I'm surprisingly ok with that when it happens. She screams. We soothe without coddling. Brush her off and send her on her way. She's just too busy to worry about her owie for too long.

Elsa - We thought about you guys while out playing in the yard. You seemed so sad to leave our fledgling green the other weekend. It made us appriciate it all the more

Si - I feel suddenly uncool...having not said Shiz-Nit since becoming a parent. Alas, all my cool seems to have been vacuumed up by my daughter. Use it well, child.

Though our coffee table is currently on reprive...we will have to continually reassess its safety. "It's not over yet"

The dog toy issue isn't really about Norah at all. It's more about Arlo and his rapidly shrinking self-esteem. I dont' wory about cat or dog hair on her binky (just pick it off). I don't mind the idea of her playing with the dog toys. What bothers me is that it so clearly upsets the litte pouch and I don't want him harbering any ill will toward Norah. She has plenty of things to play with, so I feel no guilt in protecting the dog's few possessions.

PS - Just for you, Si, Moonshot will continue to teach piano lesions. She's quite the musical destructor

Hokey - I suppose if all you had to do with your day was slowly and meticulously explore your house...you'd probably find all sorts of new and exciting nooks, crannies, and death traps.

Norah had a pretty nice face plant yesterdy. We have a tiny little half-step into the sunroom from the kitchen...two-inch drop, max. She was crawling toward it and we were a bit curious how she'd handle it. Well...she didn't even see it. Crawled right off it, her little arm crumpled and she head butted the laminate floor. Cry/soothe/dust-off/crawl. She tried again this morning. She at least saw it coming this time...but the result was the same.

Mark said...

Wait second -- I'm sure I commented on this post. Looks like I'm finally the victim of comment cannibalism -- the others devoured mine in favor of saving themselves.

What I said was... had I a blog when Ben was at this point of development, my post would have looked almost exactly like this.

Okay, now I can't remember everything I said before. Probably somebody's already said it by now, anyway. Basically, it's a fine line we walk, but like you we've learned to be strategic about the physical freedoms we give Ben.

A long-standing rule was no toys on any eating surface. Once his reach got long enough, though, we encouraged him to bring a toy to the kitchen island at breakfast time and snack time. Otherwise, my wife wouldn't be able to leave out any of her decorations there. Of course part of me wanted to tell her to ditch the stupid votive candle holders, but they do add a nice touch, and the boy must learn a little restraint.

Simon said...

Oh, I forgot, be careful when she gets to roaming (especially walking) around outside. I was mowing the lawn last year with Dex in the yard and I cut the motor to empty the grass-catcher. I heard a scream from by the fence and turned to see the wee boy had managed to topple one of those hundred-pound patio squares on top of himself from where I had it leaning against the fence, blocking one of the Jack Russell's many escape routes. Somehow the block had broken in half in the collapse, the break absorbing most of the energy, sparing the boy anything but a big scare and a couple minor scrapes.

We probably don't need to be quite as careful this summer, since the boy will be older and wiser, and we have a back-up kid in case we lose the first one.

(We still have lots of snow and poo in our yard, so it'll be a while before we can join Jet as "that neighbour.")