Two Sad Moments

A Sad Moment for Pluto

I have absolutely no reason to care whether Pluto is considered a planet or not. It changes nothing about the actual nature of the Universe and certainly changes nothing about my life specifically. And yet I find myself saddened as Pluto orbits away into the planetary underworld. And what makes it even more confusing is that I actually agree with the IAU’s decision on this, I was just hoping they’d make a different one.

In the end it boils down to the fact that adding is more fun than subtracting. Logic specific to the case at hand doesn’t matter…it’s just more fun to add. It’s why I get excited about new expansion teams even though I don’t think it really adds anything to the competition of the sport. It just tickles the mind in an enjoyable way to assimilate new items into a category you were previously familiar with. I remember just rolling the phrase “Carolina Panthers” around for a while…trying to get used to it when that team was announced. And although I agreed that the Browns was clearly the correct name for Cleveland’s expansion team, I was horribly disappointed simply because I was denied my joy of addition.

And that’s why I was rooting for Charon, 2003 UB313 (“Xena”) and even brave little Ceres to be allowed into the club. Ok, I wasn’t thrilled with the addition of Ceres since it’s clearly an asteroid. But, I was willing to let it in just so I could have the fun of saying, “Wow, three new planets!” Even though I knew in my heart of hearts that Pluto should probably never have been a planet in the first place, I was pulling for it and the others just so I could have the fun of saying, “Wow, three new planets!”

In the end, I’m glad that the members of the IAU are not so ruled by their childish impulses as I am. My system would probably have 30 more planets added in the next decade. Children failing out of school due to an inability to memorize all 42 and astrologers pulling their hair out, unable to invent areas of governance for so many planets. In other words…pure chaos.

So, I’m sad to see Pluto go. But I take heart in the knowledge that there is now a new kind of planet…a dwarf planet. So, while their probably won’t ever be a new planet, I can now get excited about adding to the dwarf planet category. I can root for Quaoar, Sedna, Orcus and countless others. I can delight if they declare Pluto and Charon a binary system (much cooler than a simple planet/moon system). And I can take comfort in the fact that while they may have stripped Pluto of its planetary status, it will always be the very first dwarf planet. Which ain’t such a bad consolation prize, I guess.

We were once so close to Heaven
Peter came out and gave us medals
Declaring us the nicest of the damned.
They Might Be Giants

A Sad Moment For Humanity

Yesterday Morning:

I am driving to an insurance class (I have to get my insurance license for a project at work). I left home in plenty of time, so I opt to make my way from I70 to Olive by taking Creve Coeur Mills Rd…the scenic route in other words. I’m merrily cruising past the farms and parks, singing along with Old Crow Medicine Show until I reach Olive. And right on the corner of Olive and Creve Coeur Mills there is an accident. No cars are getting by from our little country road and there was no way I am turning back around since I’m less than a quarter mill from my class by this point. Luckily, there is a service road I can get to that runs up and around the Fern Ridge High School (where Duke teaches) and hits Olive just a block east of the accident. Good plan I think to myself. The traffic is backed up heading west (since that run toward the accident) but the eastward lanes are pretty open (also due to the accident). All I have to do is hope that someone will kindly let me slide past them so I can execute a left turn into the open eastward lanes. It will cost them nothing, I reasoned, and most the time you can find one or two kind souls.

However, once I duck around the high school, I find four other cars sitting, waiting to make the same turn I had imagined. And no one is letting them by. Westbound cars are inching their bumpers closer together to keep us from gaining access to the eastbound lanes. Despite our clear blinkers that indicate that we have no intention of jumping in front of them…they glare at us and jockey around to make sure they form no gap. How asinine is this? However, if this was the extent of their assholishness, I would not be writing this down. But at this point a school bus full of kids arrives in the turning lane. They too need only pass through the traffic and will cause no delay to the folks who are waiting in very near standstill traffic. And yet the cars continue to inch closer to each other to prevent the bus’s access to the school. At this point I’m amazed at the level of selfishness. No…not selfishness. Selfishness implies that they are gaining something for their efforts and just don’t care enough about others to give up some of that gain. But these jerks are gaining NOTHING. They are apparently blocking a school bus for the sheer joy of blocking it. After three or four cars eep past our intersection and fail to let the bus through, the bus driver gently edges the nose of his bus into the traffic and forces a woman in a green SUV to pause while he makes his way across the road. My jaw literally dropped as Ms. Green SUV’s face turns red and she begins screaming through her windshield at the bus driver. While I have no idea what she is saying, I am certain that it is unkind since both middle fingers have flown into insult position and she is leaning into her passenger seat so that her crude gestures can track the target of her rage a bit longer. That’s right, she’s flipping off a bus full of kids because the driver had the audacity to edge his bus in front of her, thereby forcing her to do what she should have volunteered to do on her own had she been a decent human being. He caused her no delay, he injured he in now way. He merely kept her from having her bumper glued to the car in front of her for a total of maybe 20 seconds…and for that, she lost her friggin’ mind. Ah, humanity at it’s best.

However, I will say that after watching this display, the cars behind Ms. Green SUV felt guilty and let me and all four of my patient friends into the eastbound lanes. So perhaps there is hope.
And what’s bothersome is that St. Louis was just ranked one of the friendliest driving cities in America. Scary.

So, if you’re out and about in your car today…be extra courteous and maybe even let a driver or two in front of you…there’s some nasty karma in the form of a green SUV out there that we need to balance out.