Racing a Hurricane...In St Louis

Norah has turned the ripe old age of one month. Depending on when you ask me, it is either impossible that it has been so long…or simply astounding that we were childless only one month ago.

This morning Moonshot and I sat mulling over the words “one month old” as we inhaled our breakfast cereal, hoping she would sleep just long enough to let us finish. Her one-month anniversary reminded us of her doctor’s appointment tomorrow. And the combination of those two things reminded us that we had not signed her up on my insurance plan! We were given a 31-day grace period during which she would be automatically covered, but if we missed this deadline, she would be uncovered until June 1 of ’07. We sighed in relief that we had remembered at the 11th hour.

I drove to work with the intention of fixing this issue with our HR Director, but she could only referred me to ADP Total Source (this new-fangled system that’s supposed to save us lots of money, but really just makes more headaches). I spoke with the ADP people and they told me that I’d have to fax their sign-up form and Norah’s birth certificate to them by the end of the day.

“That’s fine,” I replied. “I’ll swing by home during lunch and bring back the birth certificate.”

The kind woman on the phone hesitated with an, “um.”

I was curious, “Is lunch too late?”

“No, probably not.” She paused. “It’s just that we’re in Miami and we might have to evacuate the building because of the hurricane. So, the sooner you get us the forms…the better.”

I agreed and within seconds found myself racing back home. As I drove I had some time to enjoy the absurdity of me, in St. Louis, racing against Hurricane Ernesto over a thousand miles away. The prize? Health insurance for my daughter. I also had some time to kick myself for my procrastinating ways. Why do I always put these things off ‘til the last possible second? It’s been a life-long trend. But then, while I was deep in my self-lecture, I began to think about the insurance company itself. Why hadn’t they contacted me?

Now, I’m not trying to weasel my way out of my responsibility here. It was, in the end, my job to protect Norah’s health…not my insurance company’s. But hear me out for a second. This is a company that contacted us on multiple occasions during the pregnancy to offer swanky pregnancy packages and even (to their credit) some very nifty free benefits that could help us out through the pregnancy. So they knew we were pregnant. And they sure knew Moonshot had given birth since they got the bill for the delivery. So, why not call us again to get Norah on the plan?

The only thing I can think of (but I’m open to other interpretations) is that the insurance company looses money on newborns and would rather not pick them up until year two. And that makes mathematical sense. If the cost of a generic child age 0-18 is x, then the cost of a newborn would almost always be higher since there are so many doctor visits and such.

As I drove, I got disgusted. Granted, I was not completely shocked to find an insurance company attempting to keep a baby from getting covered. And it’s not like they actively tried to make registration difficult. But it seems clear to me that they just held their breath and hoped I would miss the 31-day cut-off.

When I returned to work, I spoke with our HR director about it and she agreed. She added that the 31-day window is actually pretty good for the insurer since there aren’t typically many reminders in those first thirty days. The first doctor’s appointment usually comes just after. And with a 6-week leave being typical for mothers, the HR department is less likely to remind you until it’s too late.

Once again, not shocked…just a bit disturbed.

The good news is that I beat that insurance-blocking Ernesto. Norah can have as many doctor visits as she wants.